Well, I suppose that it has been a long time since I’ve posted here. A lot has happened in my life since I last posted.
The main thing that’s new with me, though, is that I have moved to a new place. Same stuff happen here like the other place, but there are things that are different too. And that’s okay.
Has anyone noticed the idiotic things that tend to happen in life … especially when you least expect it? Drivers… storms… people themselves… and so forth?
That seems to happen around certain things in life… and most of it seems to settle around people themselves in one way or another.
I have a theory about one such instance: old friends. But it will take a moment for me to post about this particular theory. Please … just wait patiently while I explain this a little… and then we can test this theory together.
When meeting someone new, how do you know if they’ll be a friend, and a good one at that? How do you know to not befriend someone who shouldn’t be a friend to you?
I have met a LOT of people in my 41+ years… some good, some bad… and some I don’t know how to categorize them in any way, shape or form.
Some time ago, I met this particular person in an the most unlikely places: a hospital. We got to know each other somewhat… and in the end, we were able to get to know each other once I left the hospital.
Since that time, we stayed in touch. The last 1-2 years (something like that), that friendship has … ended. At one time, I would have thought that that friendship had ended on semi okay terms.
And then it became clear that it had not, and has not… and well, I wish things were different I suppose.
We have a mutual friend -well, a friend for me, and apparently a love (or something anyway) interest that has not been returned for the other person. For this friend of mine, the ‘old’ friend keeps making contact… and not in a good way (at least, not in my opinion).
And the ‘old’ friend should know when it’s time to move on, to grow up and be the adult they seem to think they are. You know the old saying? Be the bigger person and move on? Or be the grown-up and walk away from the situation? Something like that.
Do they get this point? No. Why? I have no idea, and do not really want to know. Sorry.
Now, I know that there is a thing called freedom of speech… and that each and everyone of us has the right to speak their mind… and has a right to express how they are feeling. However, some of the things that this person says to my friend… and probably to other people… it is so ugly.
Who would like to be called names? Especially things like… bitch? Cunt? And so forth.
Or who says that someone should die… that they should just die, kill themselves… etc… or wishes someone should rape and kill the person?
Yeah. Things like that.
So what is my theory (theories) about this old friend of mine? Well, the first would be that they cannot keep their opinion about this post to themselves. The second theory would be that he would go off on me for writing this post and the way that they feel about my life -and my friends life.
This person would, or no doubt will, call me a bunch of names… my friends names… and say horrible things in his response.
If this is the case, why am I posting this down in a post where everyone else can see it? Why not be the grown-up, the person who walks away and stuff?
I have been, and I have not been responding to anything this person has written to my friend. Why should I when this person blames my friend -and to some extent, me- for the mess he has that they call a life? And why would I want to get them angry at me? Or interfere what’s been happening?
That’s a good question. Well, for once, I’d like to point out that I have a right to speak when I want to, and just about anything I want to without fear of punishment, repercussions, and such.
I will say this to the person once and for all: please move on with your life.
If you are angry about what’s happened in the past? Redirect it to where it belongs… or perhaps finally deal with that anger. You have voiced your anger (multiple times, I might add), you have told both me and … the friend… off multiple times (though it has been a long time for me).
Why do you insist on holding onto your anger? And directing it at someone who is no longer in your life?
So what if you see my friend… or me… or whoever else you’re pissed off at…. around town? If you want to volunteer at a place near your house… then do so. If you want to go shopping at a particular place, then do so. I don’t really care what you do, so long as you leave me… and our mutual acquaintance in peace.
I wish you luck.
If you post a review, so be it. It’ll get posted, despite the way you say such disgusting, disturbing things. However, I’d like to ask: the things you say to our mutual acquaintance… and to me… does it help you at all?
Not that it matters, I guess. Just something ponder.
At any rate, life is moving on… I am enjoying living in the neighborhood that I do. It’s near a zoo and the beach and stuff like that. Despite living on a busy street, and in a small building… things could be a lot worse.
I do hope that everyone has a great evening.
Hey. I am currently typing on something other than my computer… so I thought that I would see how it goes. IT seems to be going okay…
I do hope that everyoje is okay?
I know that I haven’t been posting much as of late, and for that I apologize. A new semester (I am in college again) has started again, and there have been some things going on where I live that has thrown everything out of wack.
Don’t get me wrong, I am doing pretty good at the moment… and I like that fact. It’s… I dunno… challenging to keep on track sometimes, especially when I get impatient to get certain things done. I know that things will work out sooner or later… I just hope it’s sooner rather than later.
Book reviews will continue, I just don’t know when.
I did ask ask a question on facebook yesterday, but I thought I’d ask it here and expand on the situation just a little… though I think that I went into it a little yesterday. Just a little.
On facebook, I asked… how do you go off on someone without disrespecting them? And I’ll add to it here: How do you go off on someone without disrespecting them or yourself? Or do you have to express your anger (or whatever it is you’re feeling) in a different way … and yet tell them you’re angry? (does this make sense?)
Now, to expand on this a little… I live in a Intermediate Care Facility (which is slowly transitioning into a Specialized Mental Health Rehabilitation Facility), which is a fancy way of saying that I live in a nursing home for psych issues. And like the skilled nursing homes places, this place helps you work towards … well, a better life I suppose.
Anyway, everyone here has a case manager (aka social worker)… and I have one particular one that I really like (usually). We have been working on quite a few things since I started working with her… one of which is me going back to school and getting a degree (even if it is only a basic degree), and there are others.
Now, last month I was in the hospital for psych reasons (long story on that)… and it was highly suggested that I start seeing a therapist. So I was finally able to get hooked up with a therapist in a hospital about a mile away or so.
Normally, when you go for any type of appointment, the facility would provide transportation for you (assuming the insurance covers it). Last week, my case manager talked to me about taking public transportation to and from the appointment. I didn’t/don’t want to until things are finally settling down in a solid routine (and I know how I am going to handle therapy…)
Well, when I returned home from this week’s appointment (on Tuesday), I went to the person who would normally schedule the rides … so that she could set up the transportation for next week. Well, I was told that I needed to talk to my caseworker about the transportation… telling me what the caseworker had told me the previous week.
This struck me … as wrong, somehow. And I got angry, very angry. Since she left right about that time, I sat down, wrote her an email, and basically went off on her. And from our discussion yesterday, she didn’t appreciate it… me going off on her, that is. I meant no disrespect towards her.
However, for me to express my anger in that particular moment, I tend to either simply go off or do something I’d regret later. I don’t often go off on people now days like I did with the case manager; however, I still get angry enough that I get grumpy and get an attitude. But usually, I don’t outright go off on people (at least I try not to).
Now, before anyone says that in this particular situation, I overreacted… I’m beginning to realize that fact. I may not agree whole heartedly with her decision (at least, not for the first few weeks), but that doesn’t mean that I like the way she (and me) went about the situation.
However, that doesn’t mean I still don’t want to know the answer to the question: Is it possible to go off on someone without disrespecting the other person?
I have to admit that when I am in that moment of anger and need to express it, it’s pretty dang hard for me to just step back and admit that I’m angry and then walk away from the situation until I’ve calmed down. It’s been like that as far back as I can remember.
Okay, now I am getting off track. What do you all think?
It has been a very long day today.
Yesterday I had a very good session with the new psychologist; however, when I got home, I received some news that, in the long run, would be good for me… but in the short time I am not quite ready to deal with yet.
My case worker wants me to take public transportation to and from the therapy appointment. In nursing homes, they normally provide transportation to appointments such as this. When she first brought the idea up, I absolutely did not want to go through with this. Still don’t, not really. But I can now see me doing it.
However, the way it was brought up to me yesterday really pissed me off, and I went off on my case worker -via email, of course. And I had to face a pretty major discussion with her this morning… which triggered a response that I wasn’t expecting: Tears.
Since then, I have been feeling a bit off kilter cuz of the crying… but in a good way, I suppose. I’m not spiraling downward into another depression… and over-all, my anxiety hasn’t been too bad this evening, which is a good thing.
Tomorrow I’ll probably have to do another followup because of this… but I’ll deal with it whether I want to or not.I just hope that it doesn’t take so much out of me like it did today. I have a lot of studying to do between now and Sunday morning.
Well, it’s another fine Tuesday morning, and I am already tired. Then again, I have been up since around 4:30 this morning (doing laundry of course). Maybe I should take a nap this morning? Maybe I better, since I have things to do this afternoon.
This afternoon I have my second appointment with a psychologist. It’s more of a follow up to last week’s intake paperwork stuff.
The process for me getting a psychologist started last month when I landed in the hospital for psych reasons. The psych doc I had there highly suggested that I get a psychologist for some therapy -at least a year’s worth of therapy. So I finally received a recommendation for me to go to and had my first appointment last week. Hopefully I’ll be able to set up some sort of regular schedule to meet with the woman.
I also have a lot of reading to do for my science class, so I’ll probably take the book with me to the appointment, as I plan on getting to the place pretty early… and would have to wait for my ride to come home. I might as well have something to do while I’m waiting.
I had my first quiz last week in the science course. Surprisingly, I did okay, especially considering I hadn’t read all of the material (and really hadn’t reviewed everything). Yes, I got a C, but I could have done a lot worse. My plan, though, is to be more prepared for the next quiz.
In the mean time, I am also trying to write a fanfiction story for Harry Potter… will have to wait and see. I’d also like to get going on another story that I’d started last year for Star Trek Voyager. I dunno, I guess it takes time for me to get things done when it comes to writing for fun. Lots of ideas, but putting them together is another story…
In other news, I will try to post more book reviews as soon as I can. School takes presidence though.
Have a great day one and all.
Good day everyone. I hope that all is well with you.
I apologize for not updating the blog lately; it’s been a bit crazy with school and then the holidays. I also ended up in the hospital for a week due to psych issues, but I am feeling much better now.
The good news is that as of right now, I have passed two out of my three fall semester classes. The third class I still need to turn something in… which will hopefully be done today. The reason that this assignment is being turned in so late is that I needed the extension on the assignment due to the hospital stay. It’s a paper, and I’m mostly editing it at this point, and just finishing up the tail end of the paper. It shouldn’t take much longer than today to get it finished.
And I do need to finish it today. Officially, the spring semester starts on Tuesday, and the one class that starts on Tuesday for me is a science course… and there is already quite a bit to do for it. The other two classes won’t start until late this month or early next month, depending on which class you’re talking about. I will definitely be kept busy this semester, and I am definitely taking the summer semester off! I need the long break! 🙂
I do have a bit of sad news, though. Two people I know/knew passed away during the week after Christmas. One of the people that died was someone that worked here … as in, worked at the place I live in. The other person is a good friend’s father. Never a fun experience losing someone that you know & care for.
At least I am able to focus on other things for now, if only to get my mind off the sad things in life.
Well, I’ll check in again sometime soon and hopefully get another book review out and about within the next week or two -at most.